i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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