loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
