East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
