First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
