Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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