He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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