Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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