if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
