Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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