guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
