it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
