One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
