Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
