? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize