I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
