I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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