you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He kissed a someone with a penis
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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