and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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