Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
