Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
