He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
vagina is talking i cant
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
