You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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