that's an acceptable place to lick
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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