do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
