One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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