Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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