you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
