Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
