Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
