tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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