so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
