you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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