So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
