I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize