i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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