i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
