erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize