Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
