Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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