Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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