she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
