I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
