Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
