Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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