So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
