some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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