I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
