I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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