Kiss
Puke
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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