just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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