Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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