you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
