and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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