Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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