I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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