Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
