you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize