Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
