we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
