You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
