Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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