At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
