Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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