the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
