Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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